United We Stand
by Rose Stetson
Summary: AU - When Samantha Carter returns from P3R-118, having reversed the effects of the memory stamp from "Beneath the Surface", she is carrying within her more than just a complicated relationship with her commanding officer.
1. Revelations

_"Where are we going?" She whispered as he led her silently through the maze of outdated boilers. "What are we doing?"_

_There was still no response from her gray-haired companion._

_"Jonah..." She complained softly._

_They reached a small, vacant alcove before he turned and kissed her. The kiss was intense, and she felt like she was on fire as his warm lips burned into her own._

_"This is wrong," she murmured as his kisses trailed down to her neck._

_"Don't care," he returned softly, not pausing in his work._

_The passion inside burned more fiercely, more hotly, than even the greatest of the boilers she watched over._

_"Someone will see..."_

_"No one here."_

_She pulled away, reluctantly. "What if they catch us?"_

_"This isn't real, Thera." He murmured. "You know that as well as I do. We'll figure it out, and we'll get...wherever we're going...just give me one night. One time to feel you. To touch you..."_

_She swallowed, catching her swollen bottom lip between her teeth. "All right. Just once. And then...we rejoin the others..."_

_-_

The doorbell rang, waking Sam from her dream.

"Who could that be?" She asked herself aloud as she struggled to pull herself off of the couch.

She managed to regain her balance as she pressed a hand to her softly rounded stomach. "You sure are making things difficult, kiddo..." She murmured to the eighteen-week-old fetus.

She peeked through the peephole to see her commanding officer, Daniel, and Teal'c standing on the porch in the snow. She sighed softly. The last thing she needed right now was to see Jack O'Neill.

She forced a smile to her lips as she opened the door. "Hey, guys."

"Carter!" Jack grinned. "We brought a movie and some pizza. Mind if we come in?"

"Of course not," she lied as she opened the door more widely. "I was just...sitting on the couch...thinking..."

"About what?" Daniel asked as he walked in the door.

She coughed uncomfortably as she felt Jack's eyes on her. "Stuff. You know...for the baby's room."

"How is the little tyke?" Jack asked, allowing his eyes to rest on her swollen belly.

"Uh...fine." She said as she closed the door, feeling a draft from the cold winter night.

She rubbed her arms in an effort to quickly warm herself. "So...what movie did you bring?"

"Star Wars."

"Star Wars..." She murmured.

"I wanted the Simpsons, but T, here, thought you wouldn't want to watch it."

_"I think his name's...Homer..."_

She felt almost sick. "Uh...not really..." She finally managed.

"Oh." Jack said, quietly.

She'd shut him out when she'd learned of her pregnancy. With Martouf's death, the za'tarc testing disaster, and their long entrapment in the underbelly of P3R-118 as Jonah and Thera, she'd had too much on her plate. Too much to think about. She sighed. Too much to shield him from.

"Where's that boyfriend of yours?" Jack asked, conversationally, as he stepped into the kitchen with the pizza.

She looked up in surprise.

"You know...the one you got just after we got back from...well...you know..." Jack looked at her, snapping his fingers. "What's his name? Ben, Brick, Brendan..."

"Brock." She corrected. Though why she cared about the name of her fabricated boyfriend, she didn't know. She sighed. Yes, she did. He was her only ticket out of a court martial. "And he's out of town on business."

"Happens a lot," Jack said, suspiciously.

She swallowed, wondering if he remembered their last night together on P3R-118 as clearly as she did. "He's...busy. So am I..."

"Yes," Jack said, skeptically. "How are the science labs?"

She cringed internally. "Fine...sir...how was your latest mission?"

He bit the inside of his cheek as he studied her. "Fine."

"Hey, Christmas is in what? Three weeks?" Daniel interrupted.

Sam nodded.

"Why don't you all come to my apartment?" Daniel invited. "We could all hang out, drink egg nog and pass out by the fire." He eyed Sam's small belly, and grimaced. "Well...we, guys, could get drunk and pass out by the fire, but you could sleep in the guest room...or my room for all I care..."

"I...I can't." Sam said, shaking her head. She didn't want to spend more time with Jack than was absolutely necessary. Especially since his jealous streak was running rampant because of her lie. "I promised Mark that I'd visit him this year."

"Dad coming for a visit?" Jack asked, casting a sidelong glance toward her.

"I don't know," she managed. She reached for a few plates and placed them on the counter beside the pizza before she served herself. "He'll come if he can."

"Well, maybe we can do a New Year's thing, then." Daniel said, walking over and serving himself some pizza as well.

"Great." She sighed, rather unenthusiastically, as she walked back out to the living room and cautiously sat herself down in the arm chair by the fireplace.

"We still regard you as a member of our team, Major Carter." Teal'c said, from where he sat on the couch perpendicular to her.

"Well, I'm not anymore." She snapped as Jack entered the room. She softened as she looked at her slowly diminishing lap with a small sigh. "And probably won't ever be again if this baby has something to say about it."

"Not true. Barry can do the stay-at-home "dad" thing." Jack said, sardonically.

Sam sighed as she closed her eyes.

Daniel looked over at her. "There's a bigger problem than that. You're...you're not happy about this baby."

She caught Daniel's gaze with her own. "I...I should be." She murmured. "Having a baby is supposed to be a happy thing..."

"But?"

"Brock...and I...aren't going to work out," she lied. "Which makes me a single mother, and puts me forever in the science labs."

"Cut the crap, Carter."

Sam's head snapped up at Jack's outburst.

"Excuse me, sir?"

"There's no Brock, and we both know it."

She tensed. "I-I...I don't know what..."

"You were transferred off SG-1 only a few weeks after we got back from that...ice planet..."

She swallowed, feeling flushed with embarrassment.

"And right before we left, you and I..."

"Stop." She whispered as hot tears welled up in her closed eyes.

"You're just trying to protect me." Jack finally sighed. "And we all know it."

Sam looked over at Daniel and Teal'c, who both looked only mildly shocked at the revelation.

She set the plate on the coffee table as she heaved herself out of the chair. "Excuse me." She murmured as she left the room.

Daniel and Teal'c looked at Jack, who set his own plate on the coffee table. "I'll, uh...be right back..." He said as he stood and followed her.

"Take your time." Daniel murmured.

-

He knocked gently on the open door to her bedroom before he stepped inside.

"How long have you known?" She asked, her back to him.

"A couple of weeks...just didn't know how to say it..."

She nodded slowly as she raised her kleenex-clutching hand to her nose.

"When did you figure it out?"

He took a few steps toward her before he stopped himself. "Uh...that day when Danny asked you what you'd been doing the night before?"

"Yeah?"

"You said you'd gone on a date...I, uh...I had been sitting in my truck outside your house, trying to get up the courage to go up to your door."

"Oh."

He stood, awkwardly, for several seconds only a few steps inside the room. "So, uh...I thought you, women...I mean...there's usually a...mandatory...you know..."

"Birth control shot?" Sam asked, looking over.

"Uh...yeah..."

"Funny thing about being trapped offworld for an extended period of time..."

"Wears off?" He asked, swallowing.

She nodded as she returned her gaze to her rounded figure. "Yeah."

"Ah."

Her head was bowed as she looked at her hands which touched her rounded stomach as if trying to make sure she wasn't in some bad dream.

He watched her for a moment before he took another step forward. "Look...I'm sorry."

She looked over at him, studying him for a few seconds before she looked back down with a sigh. "I know you are. You weren't yourself...it's okay. I understand."

He sighed as he looked down at the floor. Finally, he took the last few steps to where she sat on the bed. She scooted over, wordlessly, and he studied her profile for a moment. She'd begun letting her hair grow a little longer, and it just now brushed the nape of her neck. Her blond locks shielded her face from view, and he hesitantly reached out a hand and brushed it back so that it was caught behind her ear.

She didn't move her neck, just darted her eyes to the edge of her peripheral vision to catch a glimpse of what he was doing.

"Maybe..." He began after inhaling in an effort to gather the courage he needed in order to speak to her. "Maybe I wasn't myself. And maybe...you weren't yourself, either..."

She closed her eyes in humiliation at the thought of the entire experience.

"But...we're ourselves now."

She looked over at him, almost unsure of whether or not to trust him, as she studied his features. He was in earnest, she determined as she watched him watch her.

He reached a tender finger out to brush the errant tears from her cheeks, having seen the pain in her red, swollen eyes.

"And...for better or worse...we're not in the same chain of command..."

"What are you saying?" She asked, her voice thick with emotion.

He looked down for a moment. "I..." he began, softly. "Don't want to make the same mistakes I made...that I..." He paused before he looked up at her. "Th-this is a chance to start over. And I'd like to try..."

She felt the tears well up in her eyes again. "I c-can't."

He inhaled sharply. "Oh. Okay..."

"No, sir..."

"This...this is not a "sir" conversation..." He said, shaking his head with his eyes closed in humiliation.

"Okay. Jack..." She finished. "I just...right now, I'm...I'm confused...when I said "I can't," I..." She sniffed, wiping at her nose with the kleenex again. "I only meant that...that I have t-to figure...things out..."

"Martouf?" He asked, knowingly.

She nodded slowly. "Yeah."

They were silent for a few moments before Jack looked back over at her. "So...Christmas with Mark? Sounds...fun..." He managed, limply.

She swallowed. "I guess."

"You don't want to go?"

"Mark's just...going to ask a lot of...questions that I don't want to answer."

"So tell him that you have to work and stay here."

"And go to Daniel's?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't have to if you need the space." He said, shaking his head. "You could stay here."

"Alone?"

"I...could come..." He shrugged nervously.

She breathed in over a period of several moments, taking the time to let the oxygen slowly seep into her lungs before she nodded. "I'd, uh...I'd like that."

"Okay then...if Daniel asks, I'm going to the cabin, and you're going to Mark's..."

She nodded slowly. "And if anyone asks about this...baby...my boyfriend and I broke up when he found out I was pregnant."

He tensed. "You sure?"

"No sense in ruining both of our careers," she said, simply.

He bit his lip as he nodded. "As you wish..."


	2. Dad

She blinked several times, trying to will herself to stay awake as she kept working on the schematics for the ship that the Pentagon had wanted started. She finally set her pencil down as she stood, placed her hands on her hips, and gently arched her back in an effort to stretch the tired muscles.

"Burning the midnight oil, Major?" General Hammond asked, walking into the lab with an amused chuckle.

"Sir." She said, snapping back to attention.

"At ease, Major." He said, shaking his head. "I just wanted to inform you that you have a visitor."

"A visitor, sir?" She asked, curiously.

"Hi, Sam." Her father said, walking in from behind the General.

"Dad." She said with a smile as she walked over and hugged him. "How are you?"

"Just fine." He said with a smile of his own. "What about you? Taking it easy, I hope."

She tensed as he looked down at her rounded belly. "Yeah."

"Well, I'm off to a briefing." Hammond said, seriously. "But Jacob's been cleared to go off-base if you'd like to go home, Major."

"I have a lot more work to..." Sam began.

"It can wait until the morning, I'm sure." Jacob said, looking over at her. "You need your rest."

She sighed at his patronizing. "Yeah. I guess it can," she said, managing a troubled smile. "Just let me clean up my workspace, and then, I'll be ready to go."

She quickly organized the drawings and papers on her desk as her father looked over at her. "So...boyfriend?"

"Not anymore." She said, succinctly.

"Sorry to hear that." He said, earnestly. "Didn't want kids?"

She sighed in irritation. "Do we really have to talk about this right now?"

"Right now? No, but it would probably be good to get it out in the open." Jacob said, soberly.

"And I'm sure that we will..." She said, sardonically, as she finished clearing her desk. She removed her lab coat and reached for her winter coat. "Let's go..."

She stepped out of her office as Jack stepped around the corner.

She inhaled sharply as she managed to keep from colliding into him. "Sir."

"Carter." He said, surprised. He noticed her winter coat. "You leaving?"

"I thought it was time.." She said, managing an uncomfortable smile as she allowed her eyes to flicker back at her dad.

Jack followed her gaze. His eyes widened in surprise. "Jacob. Didn't know you were gonna be in town."

He looked at Sam, who shrugged. "I didn't either, sir. Must have gotten some time off from the Tok'ra."

"Don't sound so excited." Jacob said, raising an eyebrow.

She sighed as she closed her eyes, trying to keep from losing her patience. She finally opened her eyes. "What can I do for you, sir?"

"Wanted to know if you wanted to get some Chinese. Daniel's translating some tablet, and Teal'c and I thought it might be fun to have Chinese."

"As much as I would love that..."

"It sounds like fun." Jacob interrupted.

Sam inhaled as she managed an irritated smile. "I guess we're coming with..."

"I'll drive?" Jack asked, studying Sam as if offering to be the buffer between her and her dad.

"And leave Sam's car here?" Jacob asked, seriously. "Nah. If she doesn't want to drive, I'll drive. We'll follow you."

The look on Sam's face said everything she wasn't able to. It said that it was going to be a long few days.

"Carter?" He asked, looking over at her.

"Fung Chow's on Main?" She asked, looking at him.

"Is there anywhere else?" He asked with an amused smile playing on his lips.

"I guess we'll meet you there."

"Okay, then." He said, nodding as he continued to study Sam. He let his gaze return to her father for a moment.

"Thank you for the invitation, sir." She said, smiling softly at his protectiveness.

"No problem, Carter." He said, looking back at her. "You're still part of the team...even if you don't go on missions anymore."

"Would you and Teal'c like to ride with us?" She asked as he turned to leave. "I mean, we can drop you off here again after dinner..."

"Let's ask Teal'c." Jack said, pointing with his thumb over his shoulder.

She nodded as she looked over at her dad.

"I'm coming." He said, walking forward.

She let him follow Jack as she cast her eyes gently on her stomach. She placed her hands on either side of the bump as she inhaled. "I have a feeling we're gonna have a heart-to-heart with your grandpa...even if we're not quite ready for it..." She sighed softly. "And just in time to ruin my Christmas plans with your daddy."

She reached for her car keys, which were sitting on the desk. "Here we go." She muttered as she followed her father out of the lab.

-

Sam pulled up to the Cheyenne Mountain complex an hour and a half later after a dinner which had turned out more pleasantly than she'd expected with her father's periodic patronizing comments in her direction. As if she didn't know what it was like to be pregnant. Maybe she hadn't gone through the whole thing yet, but she was pretty knowledgeable about the parts she'd gone through so far...

"Thanks for the ride, Carter." Jack said from the backseat.

"You're welcome, sir." She said, turning a faint smile to him.

"I am also grateful for your kindness." Teal'c said from behind her.

"You're welcome, Teal'c." She said, looking at him through the rearview mirror since she couldn't turn around as easily as usual.

"Well, T, I guess this is our stop." Jack said, touching the Jaffa's arm gently. He looked up at Sam. "Carter? A word?" He said, motioning to the outside.

She nodded as she undid her seatbelt. "I'll be right back," she said, looking at her dad.

"Actually, Jake, it's official business. Maybe you could take the car to her house, and I'll drop her there later..."

Jacob looked between Jack and his daughter. "Actually, Dad, that sounds like a good idea." She said, seriously. "I know how travel affects you...go home. Relax. I'll be right behind you."

"Okay..." Jacob said with a small sigh as he moved to get out of the car.

Sam, Jack and Teal'c all followed suit, and Teal'c entered the complex while Jacob took the wheel. "Call me if you're going to be longer than an hour, okay?"

"Won't take more than half that." Jack assured.

"All right..." Jacob said, turning on the engine.

Sam looked over at Jack as she pulled the coat tighter around her. "What is it, sir?"

"Obviously, it's not official." He murmured as he led her to his truck. "Just thought you might want to get away from your dad for a few minutes."

"Bless you," she sighed softly.

"Looked like he was closing in pretty tight."

She nodded slowly. "I didn't get a chance to tell him that I'm pregnant before he showed up. He wants to talk about it."

"And you don't."

"Not right now," she admitted. "Not really..."

"We can call him and tell him that you have to stay overnight on the base for an early meeting..." Jack offered. "You could take my guest room."

She managed a grateful smile. "Thank you, sir, but...I think if I avoid it for too long it will just get harder."

He nodded as he opened the door for her. "True."

He helped her into the front seat before she turned to him. "I don't know what he'll want to do for Christmas..."  
He looked up at her, earnestly. "Just...keep me updated."

She nodded slowly. "Okay."

"You sure you don't wanna hang out at my house for a little while."

She smiled softly. "Maybe some other time. I think I've just gathered up enough courage to talk to my dad."

He nodded as he moved to close the door.

"Jack?" She asked, stopping him as she took the opportunity to use his given name for once.

"Hm?" He asked, looking back at her.

"How...do you feel about this?"

"This?"

She swallowed. "The baby...and the fact that I need..."

"Your space?"

She nodded.

"I understand." He said, evenly.

"That I need my space." She finished. "But..."

"The baby...worries me."

She studied him closely.

"But I guess that's just because I, uh...lost my only kid..."

She looked down at her stomach as he looked away. "I wish..." She murmured.

"What?"

She looked over at him. "I wish...t-that I...that I could...fix this for you."

"Nature of the beast, Carter." He said shrugging.

"Give me your hand," she whispered, looking over at him.

"Why?"

"Just do it," she said, softly.

"Okay," he said, offering her his hand.

She inhaled softly as she took it and hesitantly brought it to her belly. His eyes widened as he looked at her. "It's...moving..."

"A lot." She chuckled softly.

His eyes went back to her belly as he stared at it for a few moments.

Sam's eyes moistened as she noticed the tears that were pooling in the corners of his eyes.

He swallowed after a few moments as he pulled his hand from her belly. He coughed. "We should get you home. It's cold out here..." He muttered gruffly.

She inhaled, wincing as he slammed the door closed.

-

The drive was silent as they drove sedately on the snow-covered roads.

Sam finally gathered up the courage to speak first. "If you want...you can spend Christmas at the cabin. I don't mind."

"Didn't realize I needed your permission, Major."

She grimaced. "I-I d-didn't mean to imply..."

"You don't want me at your house?"

"I didn't...I didn't say that." She stammered, looking over at him as she caught her bottom lip between her teeth somewhat nervously.

"If you don't want to be a part of this baby's life..."

"I don't know what I want, Carter."

She swallowed as she ran her fingers over the bump created by her unborn child. "Right..."

He looked over at her for a moment. "Look, I'm sorry...I'm not the best company right now, and it has nothing to do with you."

"Nothing to do with me?" She asked, skeptically. "You were perfectly good company only a few minutes ago." She sighed. "And then, I...made you face something that maybe...you weren't ready to deal with."

"Carter, it's not you." He assured.

She swallowed. "Small comfort," she murmured.

He looked over at her for a moment before he continued to drive to her home.

-

She walked in the door to her home.

"What'd you have to do?" Jacob asked, looking over at her from where he sat in an armchair by the door.

"Meeting." She murmured, taking off her coat.

"That only took a half-hour?" He asked, skeptically.

"I'm a grown woman, Dad." She said, looking over at him. "I think I've earned the right to do as I please."

"Right. I forgot..."

She walked into the kitchen and got herself a glass of water before she returned. "Dad, we need to talk."

"About?"

"This baby..."

"Ah." He said, nodding. "You want to talk about it, then?"

"Not really." She admitted. "But I figured we should get it out of the way or this is going to be a long visit..."

"I agree." He said, nodding.

She sat down on the couch. "I usually get birth control injections every so often, but whenever I'm captured, there's a possibility, depending on the amount of time I'm gone, that its effects can be lessened over time. Or, for that matter, completely inert."

He nodded.

"I was captured about the time that I needed another of these birth control injections. When I returned home, I had...a welcome home date with my boyfriend, Brock, and...well...here I am."

"And where is he?" Jacob asked, skeptically.

"I broke it off. He wasn't terribly interested in having a family, and I wanted to keep the baby."

He raised an eyebrow. "How long had you been dating?"

"Four months or so..."

He shook his head, slowly. "I don't believe you. This is worse than the Deep-Space Radar Telemetry story you fed me two years ago."

"Dad..."

"Sam."

She inhaled softly. "Okay...it didn't happen that way..."

He raised an eyebrow, expectantly.

She swallowed, nervously. "A little more than six months ago, Colonel O'Neill, Daniel, Teal'c and I were captured."

He nodded. "I heard. Something about...amnesia?"

"Not exactly." She sighed. "We were imprinted with memories and personalities which would suit the agenda - which was to work in this underground labor camp. I...I was Thera..."

He was quiet as she retreated back into her memories.

"While we were there, we started to remember some things...but we couldn't make sense of them. Letters...numbers...images..." She sighed. "It was hell, Dad. And so...without ranks and regulations...I guess, we just wanted to find some comfort...something more...natural than our manmade prison."

"Colonel O'Neill's the father of your baby?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

She nodded. "But it was completely consentual. And I didn't want to ruin his career so I didn't tell anyone. Just made up a boyfriend."

"Does he know?"

She swallowed. "Now? Yes. But he figured it out when his memory returned, and he realized I'd made up the boyfriend."

"And..."

"And that's all." She said, shaking her head. "We were thinking of spending Christmas together. Just the two of us, but that was just because it's been a confusing year."

He raised an eyebrow.

"And...now that we're not in the same chain of command, Colonel O'Neill, uh..." She swallowed. "Wants to...persue a possible relationship."

"Don't see the problem in that." Jacob said with a shrug. "I mean, he's right. You're not in the same chain of command anymore..."

"Yes, but I don't know what's going on in my head or my heart right now." She teared up. "Martouf died around the same time that I found out about Colonel O'Neill's feelings for me...officially..."

"And you don't know if your feelings for Martouf were Jolinar's or if they were your own." He inferred.

"It's something I think I should figure out before I head into any serious relationship." She swallowed. "It's the least I can do...even with all of my other baggage."

He nodded slowly.

She sighed as she hoped that the conversation was over. "So...what are your plans for Christmas, Dad?"

"I'll probably go to Mark's house." He said, absently. He looked over at her. "I can make your apologies if you want to keep your quiet Christmas plans..."

"I'll think about it." She said, nodding.

"Did you and Jack have a falling out?"

She inhaled. "Not...exactly..."

"Something happen on the drive home?"

She nodded slowly. "I guess, he's...he's just not sure he's ready to be a father again."

"A little late to make that realization."

"This wasn't in our plans, Dad."

"I know. But..."

"I think he's getting excited at the prospect of being a father again," she interrupted. "But part of him feels guilty that he's getting so excited."

"How so?"

"If he moves on with his life, he's putting Charlie in the past." She said, simply.

"He told you this?" Jacob asked, studying her.

She shook her head. "He didn't have to."

"Be careful putting words in Jack O'Neill's mouth," he warned softly.

She inhaled before standing. "I'm tired, Dad. I think I'll head to bed."

He nodded slowly. "Okay."

She walked over and locked the door before she walked down the hallway to her bedroom. She quickly prepared for bed before sitting on the bed, and glancing at the phone on the nightstand. She brushed off the overwhelming desire to call Jack. He needed his space, and she needed to respect him enough to give it to him.

With a small sigh, she curled up in bed and closed her eyes. Hopefully, the physical and spiritual weariness of her body would compensate for her emotional turmoil, and she would be able to sleep once she hit the pillow.


	3. Hurt

The phone rang loudly in her ear, and she reached blindly for it. Finally grasping the cold plastic in her hands, she placed the receiver to her ear as she turned the cordless phone on. "Carter," she groaned.

"Sam, it's Jack." Daniel began seriously.

Her eyes widened. "What? What happened?"

"He was in an accident. A pretty bad one too. Janet called me to tell me that he's been life-flighted to the Academy Hospital."

Sam shot up in bed, her burgeoning belly protesting as she did so. "Is he going to be okay? What's going on?"

"Apparently, he was hit by a semi which was swerving to get out of the way of a dangerous drunk driver. The trucker didn't see Jack's truck until it was too late."

Sam inhaled sharply.

"He's lucky to be alive right now, Sam." He said, softly. "But...he may not stay that way for long."

"I'm going to the hospital."

"I'm already on my way to pick you up." Daniel said, soberly. "And I've got Teal'c with me."

"Okay, let me get dressed and tell my dad where I'm going."

"You know...he might be able to help..." Daniel murmured.

"Okay, I'll get my dad then." She said, trying not to think about how badly hurt he must be to need help from the Tok'ra.

-

"Can't you go any faster?" Sam asked from the front seat as Daniel drove to the hospital.

"Not safely." He said, soberly.

"I know." She sighed. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You're worried about him." He said, observantly. "We all are."

She managed a weak smile as she absently stroked her swollen belly with her left hand. "Hold on, Jack," she murmured as she looked out the car window, anxiously. "I'm coming..."

-

Everything was a blur until they arrived at the nurse's station in the Emergency Room a few minutes later. "Colonel Jack O'Neill's room," Sam said, her eyes wide with worry.

"I'm sorry, but he's in surgery. You'll have to wait for the doctor."

Sam closed her eyes as she inhaled and hit the desk with her hand.

"Come on, Sam," Daniel murmured as he put his hands on her arms, comfortingly. "Calm down. It's okay..."

"No, it's not." She whispered, tears slipping down her cheeks.

Daniel led her to a chair, and helped her to sit down. By now, she was almost shaking with worry and fear.

"Colonel O'Neill is a warrior," Teal'c began. "He will fight honorably for his life."

Sam tried to smile gratefully, but her smile fell before it ever fully took root. "He's hurt," she whispered, tearfully. "Badly enough that he had to be life-flighted here for Janet to treat him..."

"Actually, that's standard procedure for the staff at Cheyenne Mountain given everything you're exposed to on the base," Hammond said from behind them.

Sam wiped at her eyes as she prepared to stand. "General Hammond, sir."

"At ease, Major." He said, kindly.

"What are you doing here, sir?" She asked after a moment.

"Dr. Fraiser called me like she called all of you." He said, soberly. "I guess I...came to see if there was anything I could do to help."

Sam nodded slowly as Hammond turned to his old friend. "Jacob, I'm glad you came. I was going to call you myself."

"The minute I heard Colonel O'Neill was injured, I gathered my things together in case you needed my help."

Sam turned grateful eyes to her father.

"How are you feeling, Major?" The General asked, turning his eyes back to Sam.

"I'm fine." She said, soberly. "Just...worried."

He nodded. "There's a lot of that going around." He acknowledged.

"I know, sir."

"He's got the best doctors on his case," Daniel assured.

"I know." She said, nodding. "I just..." She swallowed. "I want to see for myself that he's going to be okay."

They all nodded slowly as she stood and walked over to the window, looking out into the night in her worry.

-

The tired footsteps they'd heard a hundred times alerted them all that Janet had entered the waiting room. All eyes turned to her as Daniel and Jacob stood.

Sam studied the lines on her face. They didn't necessarily mean that there was something wrong, but the tears which hid in the corners of her eyes did. Janet looked down at her hands for a few moments as she inhaled.

"Janet?" Daniel prodded, gently.

She looked up. "He's stable," she managed.

"But..." Sam said, feeling tears sting her eyes.

"There's a lot of damage." Janet said, shaking her head. "He's hanging on by a thread..."

Sam inhaled sharply as she wrapped her arms around her stomach, almost in an effort to gain the comfort she so desperately needed.

"The next twenty-four hours will be the most critical." She said, soberly. "And even after that..." She swallowed. "He may never walk again."

Sam's head snapped up. "What?"

Janet inhaled deeply. "There was a great deal of damage done to his spinal cord. The way his truck was hit..."

Sam closed her eyes in pain.

"But he's alive." Jacob reminded, squeezing his daughter's shoulder gently.

Janet nodded. "For now? Yes."

"Do you think I can...see what I can do?" Jacob asked, looking over at her.

"I was hoping you could." She said, nodding. "You'll have to scrub up. I don't want him getting any kind of infection. He's fragile enough as it is."

Jacob nodded. "Of course."

"Tell him..." Sam began, catching her father's sleeve as he left.

He turned, and she swallowed down her emotion. "Tell him that we're all out here thinking and...praying..." She said, twisting the crucifix she wore around her neck like she'd been doing for the last several hours.

He nodded. "I will."

-

"He's awake," Jacob murmured as he walked back into the waiting room several minutes later.

"What?" Sam asked, surprised.

"We were able to heal most of his internal injuries." He said, soberly. "But...there must be something embedded in his spinal cord around the middle of his back. We can't heal that. He'll have to do it the old-fashioned way."

"But he's awake." Sam said, breathing a sigh of relief.

He nodded. "Dr. Fraiser wants to run a few tests, but then, you can go and see him."

Sam looked at everyone else, as if asking permission to be the first visitor.

Daniel nodded. "He'd want to see you first."

Teal'c and Hammond nodded in agreement.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Give him our best, Major." Hammond said with understanding eyes.

She swallowed as she realized that the base commander probably had a good idea about what had transpired on P3R-118, and led to the child she carried now.

"I will, sir," she promised as Jacob gently pulled on her arm to signal that it was time to his hospital room.

-

It was still a few minutes before Sam walked into the hospital room, her heart racing nervously.

She gently knocked on the open door, and Jack looked over at her. "Hi, sir." She murmured, softly.

"Hi, Carter." He croaked.

She stood beside his bed, somewhat awkwardly. "Daniel...Teal'c...General Hammond...they're all here...wanted me to give you their best until they can come in and visit..."

"Nice of them." He said with a small sigh.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I was hit by a truck, Carter. How do you think I'm feeling?"

She winced slightly at his words. "Stupid question, huh?"

He looked over at her. "Ya think?"

She inhaled as she looked down at her hands.

"How you doing?" He asked, looking over at her.

"Me?" She asked, surprised. "I-I'm...I'm fine."

"Junior behavin'?"

She inhaled softly. "Yeah."

She'd fight with him about whether or not they'd call the child she carried "junior" at another time. Right now, she was too relieved that he was alive.

"We can find another name for the baby until we figure out if it's a girl or a boy," Jack murmured, looking back up at the ceiling with a small sigh.

"Right now, I don't really care," she admitted. "I'm just glad you're alive."

"Yeah." He sighed.

"Janet...told us..."

"That I may never walk again?" He asked, emotionlessly. "Yeah, she told me that too."

"You can stay with me, sir. Your house has too many steps..."

"Only the living room," he protested. "And I can get a ramp in there."

"You'll need someone to take care of you until you figure out what changes you need to make..."

"And you think you'll be able to do that while you're six months pregnant?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I could help." She managed, limply.

"No, you take care of yourself. You have another life dependent on that now, remember?"

"How could I forget?" She asked, softly.

"I'll be fine." He said, stone-faced.

"Of course you will," she said, sarcastically. "Nothing can break the great Jack O'Neill."

"Hey." He protested.

She wiped surprise tears from the corners of her eyes as she turned away from him.

"What was that about?"

"You're never going to open up, are you? Never going to let anyone crack that thick shell of yours," she murmured, looking back at him. "You feel our baby within me, and you clam up. I say something about helping you, and you shut me down. So tell me that you don't have some complex that keeps you from appearing vulnerable."

"I'm Black Ops trained, Carter. I don't DO vulnerable."

"Right," she said, hurt. She stood. "I think I'll tell Daniel and Teal'c that you're ready for another visitor."

"Carter..."

She inhaled as she looked over at him. "I know you don't like to be vulnerable, sir, but I have a little experience in this area. My brother had a bad accident in high school. He had to be in a wheelchair for several months while both of his legs healed." She swallowed. "He went into physical therapy because of that experience." She looked over at him. "I'd like to help you, but I can't help you until you want to be helped."

She sighed before she turned and left.


	4. Solutions

"You're sure you don't want to come with?" Jacob asked a few days later as he stepped around the car at the airport.

"Nah." She said, shaking her head. "Colonel O'Neill could use the support right now, and quite frankly, I've been feeling a little...tired lately...a few days off to put my feet up and relax is probably all I need to get back on top of my game."

"Don't overdo it," he counseled gently.

"I won't." She chuckled. "I'll be fine." She hugged him gently. "Have fun with Mark."

"Did he ever return your call?"

"I'm sure he's busy." She said, shaking her head.

"I'll tell him what's going on, maybe it'll get him to see the urgency."

"It doesn't matter. He's going to be in the hospital for a while getting treatment and physical therapy himself."

"Still..."

"I'm sure we'll get a call from him in time to help Colonel O'Neill." She assured. "Now...you should probably go. You might miss your plane if you don't."

He nodded. "Okay, kid. Take care of yourself, okay."

"Yes, dad." She said with a small smile as she got back into her car. She waved at him before she slipped into the front seat and drove away.

Her phone rang as she drove home, and she picked it up. "Carter."

"Sam," her brother greeted. "Sorry it's taken so long to get back to you, but I've been swamped with work and the holidays..."

"I understand." She said with a small smile. "It's a little crazy around here too."

"Yeah? Still have to work Christmas eve?"

"Not...exactly..."

"But you're still not coming to dinner with us..."

"I can't." She said, seriously. "One of my teammates, uh, Colonel Jack O'Neill..."

"Yes?"

"Well, he was in an accident a few weeks ago. He's made a speedy recovery in most areas, but..." She sighed. "Well, the doctors just aren't sure he'll ever walk again."

"Paralysis?"

"From the waist down." She affirmed.

"Well, the Christopher and Dana Reeves foundation has some great resources on their website," he said, soberly. "When it comes to the actual lifestyle change, that will be invaluable. I assume he's started physical therapy."

"Yes." She said, nodding.

"Good. With physical therapy and some counseling to help transition into his new life, he should be fine." He said, matter-of-factly. He paused for a moment. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine. I wasn't in the accident." She said, defensively.

"Maybe not, but it's still affecting you, right? Your team is different?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes." She said with a small sigh. "But truth be told, the team changed a few months ago."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." She said with a small smile. "I'm...pregnant."

"Really?" He asked, surprised. "I didn't realize you were seeing anyone."

"Well, it's...complicated. And I didn't want to jinx it by saying anything for a while..."

"Ah. But things are going well?"

"Not exactly." She said, biting her lip. "I...it's not working out."

"I'm sorry to hear that." He said, seriously.

"That's life, I guess." She said, somewhat lightheartedly.

"Yeah, I guess it is." He sighed.

"So...I should visit the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation website for my research?"

"Yep." He said, seriously. "And let me know if there's anything I can do to help."

"Will do," she said with a grateful smile.

"Hey, Sam?"

"Yes?"

"Your friend...Colonel O'Neill?"

"What about him?"

"He's going to be facing some...pretty dark days...even if the paralysis is only temporary..." He paused. "He's going to need your support."

She inhaled slowly. "And he's got it. If he needs or wants it."

"Trouble with the Colonel?"

She sighed. "He's not good with...vulnerable."

"Something you both have in common." He said, wryly.

She managed a small chuckle. "Yeah..."

"Hang in there. It'll be tough, but it's not impossible."

"Thanks, Mark."

"Love you, sis."

"Love you too."

"Bye."

"Bye."

She hung up the phone as she arrived at the Academy hospital. She sighed softly before she parked and got out of the car.

She walked slowly to his hospital room, almost nervous to see him. It was silly, she knew. They'd always been able to be there for one another in their physical ailments. Then again, she'd never been pregnant with the child he wasn't sure he wanted.

She pushed the door open as she heard Daniel's voice.

"Jack, would you put that thing down? I'm talking to you!"

"No, Danny. I'm not going to your place. I'll stay here for the extra few days."

"Janet said you could come home, but your house isn't ready for you, and Teal'c is off on a mission with the Jaffa, so whatever help we could have had is gone with him."

Sam appeared around the corner as Jack opened his mouth to respond. He closed it instantly as their eyes met. "I'll stay with him," she murmured.

"You?" Daniel asked, confused. "How are you going to be able to take care of him? I mean...you're..."

"Pregnant?" She asked, levelly.

"Yes. And, no offense, even if you weren't, you're not exactly Teal'c..."

"I have a few boards that will make some makeshift ramps, and I can get a carpenter in to make some more permanent ramps tomorrow." She looked at Jack, who was obviously surprised. "I called someone, sir. I figured you might want to have access in your own home ASAP."

"You were...right..."

"As for lifting..." She swallowed. "That...that could be a challenge, though there are some basic things we could do to make it easier. I can help slide his legs over onto the bed while he carries his body weight. Or if we find a wheelchair that extends at all, we could put a...a...sheet underneath him, and I could roll him over onto the bed and probably help him sit up from there..."

She looked at Jack for a moment. "I realize that it might not be the most comfortable thing in the world, sir, but...we could do it. At least until Teal'c comes back, you get strong enough to handle it on your own, or we get you the proper equipment."

Jack shared a look with Daniel for a moment. "I guess I'm going home then."


	5. Hiding

Sam walked into the house with her arms full of two grocery sacks and a small fake fir tree.

"Sam!" Daniel cried, hurrying over. "Let me get that."

"No, I got it," she murmured. "Just...close the door..."

He did so as she unceremoniously dumped the objects onto the kitchen table. "Thanks." She breathed as she started organizing the groceries she'd gotten so that she could put them away in the refrigerator.

"No problem. What's the tree for?"

"Well, I thought that Colonel O'Neill might want a little...Christmas decoration around. I don't have the time or the energy to pull out a huge Christmas tree and all of the trimmings, but...a little something might help him feel a little bit of the Christmas spirit."

"Ah."

"What?" She asked as she began moving the perishable food to the fridge. "You don't agree?"

"Uh, no...it's not that, I just..."

"I'm not trying to take the place of your Christmas festivities, Daniel." She promised. "As long as it's okay with Colonel O'Neill, you and Teal'c can come and do whatever you had planned..."  
"You're not going to join us?"

"I'm not sure." She said, soberly. "It's...it's been quite a year, and frankly, I could probably use a little...alone time."

He nodded, slowly.

"But who knows?" She said, cheering up slightly as she finished putting away the food. "I may have a mood swing and change my mind."

He smiled, appreciatively.

"I'm going to ask the Colonel where he wants this." She said, picking up the small tree.

She walked down the corridor, hearing Jack's voice somewhat agitatedly.

"No. I'm fine." He paused for a moment, and Sam stopped where she was in the hallway, wondering whether to stay or go. "You don't need to come. I have people here who can help me."

Who did he know that would want or need to know about his paralysis? She asked herself, surprised.

"Just...promise you won't come down. Call everyday, write letters, email...but don't come down."

And why was he trying to hide from them?

She looked down at her belly with sudden understanding. She inhaled slowly as she returned to the kitchen. She set the tree back on the table with a small huff.

"Didn't like the tree?"

"What?" She asked, confused. "Oh...no. No. That wasn't it."

"What'd he do?"

"He's hiding me from someone. Probably Sara."

"Sara? He still talks to her?" He asked, surprised. "You'd think he'd mention something like that."

She raised an eyebrow. "You're kidding, right? This is Colonel Jack O'Neill we're talking about..."

She inhaled as she reached for her car keys which she'd left on the table. "I need to go. Let me know if you need my help with anything."

He sighed as she walked out the door. "Sure. No problem..."


	6. Mom

Sam leaned over the schematics for the "F-303", a large-scale space ship which would, hopefully, one day be capable of interstellar travel. That was, of course, assuming that she ever figured out how to create, from scratch or retroactively, a working hyperdrive.

She was years away from that now.

She looked over at the small desk calendar in an effort to give her mind a fresh thing to focus on. December 23rd. Her father was with Mark for the holiday; Janet had Cassie to keep her company when she wasn't at work; General Hammond had his two granddaughters, Tessa and Kayla; Daniel and Teal'c were probably with Colonel O'Neill right now...

She inhaled. And she was alone. In her science lab.

A soft kick from her unborn child reminded her that she wouldn't be so alone for much longer, and she tried to muster a small smile, but it fell almost as soon as it reached her phone on the wall rang, and she turned in her chair to reach for it. "Carter," she murmured in greeting.

"Sam, it's me, Daniel. They need me for a briefing and possible mission with SG-13. It's kind of urgent. Can you come and stay with Jack?"

She bit her lip. It had been three days since his conversation with Sara...or whomever else he was trying to hide her from. "I'm not sure..."

"Please, Sam...this is REALLY important."

She sighed. "All right. I'll be there in fifteen."

"Great!"

She hung up as she closed her eyes and shook her head. "What have I done?" She asked herself as she reached for her keys again.

-

She pulled into the driveway as Daniel hurried out of the house. "He's in his chair. Can you get him back into bed if I need to leave?"

She nodded. "We've managed a few times now. Go."

"Thanks." He said, hurrying into his driver's seat as she stood on the lawn for a moment.

She looked back at the open door and sighed softly. "Let's go, kiddo..."

She walked into the house, and Jack looked over from where he sat at the kitchen table, playing his GameBoy. "Hey."

"Hey." She said, closing the door behind her as she pulled her coat off and put it on the coat rack.

"What doohickey did Daniel pull you away from to babysit me?" He asked, absently.

"Sir..." She reprimanded, gently.

He sighed and dropped the handheld game console on the table. "What? You may not want to hear it, but that's exactly what you guys are doing. Babysitting me. Making sure I don't run into a problem that I can't handle on my own."

She clenched her teeth as she stood her ground.

"Someday you're all going to have to go back to your lives in the real world, and I'm going to have to do these things for myself anyway."

She looked at him evenly. "Are you finished?"

He looked up at her almost like a petulant child. "No. But I'll stop for now."

"First of all, sir," she began. "We're your friends. We want to support you through the transition."

He opened his mouth to speak.

"It's my turn, Colonel." She interrupted. "You gave me the floor."

He was silent.

"And secondly, we fully expect that one day you'll live your life independently again."

His eyes widened. "Really?"

She nodded. "But you were in the accident only two weeks ago. I don't care who you are, you can't make that big a leap that completely that quickly."

He opened his mouth to respond before he closed his mouth, recognizing the truth of her words. He sighed, dejectedly. "Sorry, Carter. Guess I was just...feeling sorry for myself..."

"I noticed." She said, wryly.

"Thanks for pulling me out of it."

"No problem, sir."

He looked over at her, then down to her stomach, and back up at her. "Uh...how you been? Haven't seen you for a few days."

"I've been fine." She said, unwilling to discuss everything about her last few days with him. "Just busy. The Pentagon wants me to work on some schematics for a ship."

"A ship?" He asked, surprised.

She nodded. "One capable of interstellar travel."

His eyes widened. "Seriously?"

She raised an eyebrow. "You think I'd make it up?"

"Well, no, but..."

"It's okay, sir." She said, sitting down beside him somewhat wearily. "I find it hard to believe sometimes, too."

They were silent for a moment as she exhaled slowly and ran her fingers over her belly. Finally, she looked over at him. "So...I take it that your medical discharge papers came today?"

He looked over, somewhat surprised. "What makes you say..."

"You rarely feel sorry for yourself, sir." She interrupted.

He sighed as he finally answered her question. "Yeah."

"Sorry to hear it, sir."

"Well, I guess all those years of the guys ribbing me that I'd do anything to get out of a day's work is right..."

She looked at him as her brow furrowed incredulously. "Are you serious, sir? You love your job."

"I don't HAVE a job anymore, Carter." He said, leaning in to look at her. "I have a pension. I have veteran's benefits."

"Sir..."

"It's true." He said, interrupting her. "And nothing you can do or say can change that."

She inhaled sharply, studying him for a moment before she exhaled softly. "I...I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"If you hadn't been trying to give me space between me and my dad..."

"Hey." He interrupted, wheeling closer to her. He reached her as she looked down at her hands which were clasped around her belly. He leaned forward as much as he could and gently turned her head so that she had to face him. "It's not your fault."

She turned teary eyes to him. "Yes, it is, sir. It's my fault you're in that wheelchair. If I had just gone home with my dad, you wouldn't have been on that road at that time..."

"Stop that." He chided, seriously. "If it was anyone's fault, it was that jerk drunk driver."

Her eyes were wide and vulnerable. "I don't know what I would have done..."

A knock on the door interrupted her thought, and she sighed. "I'll get it." She murmured, standing as she wiped at her eyes.

He wheeled softly behind her as she walked the few steps from the kitchen table to the front door.

She looked in the peephole before pulling away somewhat surprised.

"What?" He asked, looking up at her. "Who is it?"

"I don't know." She said, looking over. "It's a woman. And she's got a big suitcase with her..."

His eyebrows shot up in surprise as she reached for the doorknob. Suddenly, his eyes widened. "No, wait! That's my..."

The damage was done as Sam finished opening the door to reveal a five-foot tall woman with short, spiked white hair. She wore a heavy white coat on top of a maroon sweatsuit. By her side was a brown and black colored German shepherd who sat beside her large roll-aboard suitcase.

"...Mom." Jack finished with a barely audible groan.

The woman pushed her sunglasses up onto her head as she openly gawked at Sam.

Suddenly, she wished that the ground would open up and swallow her whole.

Finally, she looked back at Jack. "You have some explaining to do, Jonathan."

"Major Carter, can you take the dog for a walk while I talk to my mom?" He asked after a moment.

"Yes, sir." She said, reaching for the dog's leash.

Jack's mother pulled the leash back, protectively. "Not until I get a straight answer from you, Jonathan Jacob O'Neill."

Sam turned a questioning eye to her commanding officer. His middle name was the same as her father's first name?

He inhaled in irritation. "I am forty-eight years old, Ma. I do NOT need to explain everything to you." He turned back to Sam. "Take the dog, Carter."

She reached once more for the leash, and the older woman threw her a glare. "Don't you dare."

"I'm under orders, ma'am." She tried to reason.

"And I'm your commanding officer's mother. You can disregard his orders on my authority." She turned back to Jack. "Now. Who is this woman?"

Jack sighed as he looked back up at Sam. "Major Samantha Carter, this is my mother, Margaret O'Neill. Ma, this is my second-in-command, Major Samantha Carter."

Sam looked over at the seventy-year-old woman, managing a nervous smile as she extended her hand in greeting. "It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am."

She received nothing but a curt nod from the woman, who turned back to her son. "General Hammond informed me of your accident - nice man, by the way." She glared at Sam. "Has very nice manners."

Sam flushed at the pointed remark.

"I told you not to come out here, Ma."

"I bought the ticket the moment I heard you were in an accident. I couldn't every well stay home and lose my $300."

"I don't need your help, Ma. I have a team which has helped out a lot."

"Who? This...girl?"

Sam winced at the thought of being referred to as a girl. She was almost thirty-five and pregnant. Not a Catholic school girl anymore.

"Honestly, Jonathan, you can do so much better..."

"Than my second-in-command?" He pressed. "There are regulat..."

"Oh, she's pretty, but...what you need right now is family. Not someone like her."

"Someone like her..." Jack drawled, slowly.

Sam wished she'd been able to take the dog and leave.

"You mean, someone who's patched me up more times than a field medic? Someone who installed working ramps in my house so that I could come home and not spend the next few weeks in a hospital or in someone else's house?" He asked, steadily. "She spends every moment she's not on base here taking care of me when she could be at home, restoring her motorcycle."

Sam grimaced. The motorcycle probably wouldn't win any points with his mother...

"She is a Major in the Air Force with a PhD in Astrophysics. She has more important things to do than baby-sit me. Like looking after herself for the next few months until she has her baby. But, instead, she leaves her temporary desk job exactly at five o'clock to take care of me." He looked his mother in the eyes with a steely gaze. "And if it wasn't for Samantha Carter, I would have been dead a long time ago. She's pulled my ass out of the fire more times than you could even imagine, and done things you couldn't even begin to understand for this country, and even for the world."

Sam swallowed. "Maybe I should...go..." She finally murmured in the heart of the awkward silence.

"Stay." Margaret murmured, only looking at her for a moment before she returned her gaze back to her son. "You obviously mean a great deal to my son."

Sam tensed.

"Besides, I don't know the routine. It will take me a few days to get the hang of things."

Sam nodded slowly. "Yes, ma'am."

"My friends call me "Meg"." She corrected.

Sam swallowed. "Friends, ma'am?"

"If he's telling the truth..." She said, her eyes flickering over to where Jack sat in his wheelchair. "Then I owe you his life. That's enough to make anyone my friend."

She managed a sober smile. "Thank you...Meg..."

"Now. What plans have you made for Christmas?" She asked, looking back over at her son.

-

"Carter," Jack murmured as she helped him get into bed that evening.

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry about my mother. She makes these...snap judgments..."

"It's okay." She said with a small smile as she got him settled. "She only does it because she loves you."

"Yeah, well...it's annoying as hell."

She laughed softly as she pulled the covers over his legs carefully. "You're very much like her."

"What? Me?"

She nodded in amusement. "Yeah."

"Okay...maybe a...little..." He admitted.

She gently pushed the wheelchair into position in case he needed to get himself into it during the night. Then, she looked over at him. "I guess...I'm headed home, sir."

She turned to leave, feeling his hand grasp around her wrist as he gently pulled her back. She turned back to face him. "Sir?"

"Sit and talk to me for a while?" He asked, softly.

She looked into his brown eyes and sensed a vulnerability that she'd never truly seen in them. Her heart leapt into her throat as she nodded.

He painstakingly scooted himself further toward the center of the bed to make a place for her before he patted the bed beside himself. She wordlessly sat beside him.

"Sam..."

She turned to look at him. "Yeah?"

"Maybe it sounds crazy, but...I remember fighting for my life...after the crash..."

She didn't respond, only studied him with understanding eyes as she listened carefully.

"I wanted to see this baby...our baby...grow up." He swallowed, thickly. "Like...like I should have been able to watch Charlie grow up."

Sam closed her eyes as she thought of the child he'd lost only a handful of years before. She opened them again as she felt a tender hand touch her belly. She looked down to see Jack's hand, and she followed his arm to his face, questioningly.

"You might be confused because of Martouf and our...complicated relationship, and I might be confused because of Charlie and this paralysis, but the truth of it is that we're having a kid together. And regardless of whatever else comes our way...I want you to know I'm going to be there for our kid."

She swallowed as she offered him a small smile. "I know you will. I've always known you would be. It's part of your nature. You can't just wish that away."

"Sam?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Tomorrow's Christmas Eve. Why don't you stay here tonight?"

She already had a drawer with a change of clothes, underwear, cosmetics and pajamas here in case she had to hurry from the base to take care of him. She could stay...

"What about your mom? Isn't she in the guest room?"

"My mother likes you."

She raised an eyebrow. "I know I said I understood, but I don't think she likes me very much."

He chuckled. "When my mother says that her friends call her "Meg", what she means is that the people she likes can call her "Meg". To the rest of the world, she's "Margaret" or "Mrs. O'Neill"."

"I could have sworn she hated me."

He shook his head. "No, she's just that abrasive."

Sam smiled. "Truth be told, I wasn't sure you liked me for a while..."

"Yeah. I recall saying something to the effect of adoring you already?"

She grinned as she nodded. "Yep. Before you pushed me through the Gate."

His smile faded slowly as he thought about what he'd lost.

"I'd be happy to stay," Sam said, standing. "And the couch will be.."

"There's space here, Carter." He interrupted, shaking his depression from his thoughts as he patted the empty half of the bed beside him. "If you want it."

"Sure." She said after a moment.


	7. Dreams

_She was taking the chocolate chip cookies off of the cookie sheet. Her mother's favorite. After a long weekend of conferences, she was sure to appreciate them. The door opened to the house. "Sam?" Her father called, sedately._

_"In here." She said with a small smile. Yes, her mother would be so proud._

_She looked up as her father entered the kitchen. His eyes were red and swollen, like he'd been crying._ _In fact, there were still tears in the corners of his eyes. It scared her that he, a Colonel in the United States Air Force, had been crying. "Why are you crying?" She asked, worriedly._

_Jacob's mouth started to work as if he was trying to tell her something, but he couldn't quite find the words to say it._

_Her mother was supposed to be here. Her dad was supposed to pick her up from the airport. "Where's Mom?" She demanded as tears welled up in her eyes._

_Something was wrong. Something wasn't right._

_Her father closed his eyes in agony, and she dropped the spatula in terror. "She's...she's okay, isn't she?"_

_"She's...gone..." He finally choked._

_Suddenly, she was in a graveyard, standing in front of a headstone. It looked just like the place where her mother had been buried, but the headstone looked different. The name..._

_Her blood ran cold as she read the name on it._

_JONATHAN "JACK" O'NEILL  
1952-2000_

_Tears welled up in her eyes, and she began shaking with emotion. "No....no....no....no...." She sobbed, falling to her knees as she broke down and cried.  
_  
Strong arms wrapped themselves around her. "Sam," the husky voice whispered in her ear. "Sam, wake up. It's just a bad dream. You're okay. You're safe."

"No!" She cried softly as she finally awoke. Her eyes and pillows were soaked with the tears that she'd shed in her sleep.

"Sh..." Jack murmured, gently stroking her arm to comfort her.

"Jack?" She asked, softly.

"I'm here."

She carefully rolled over so that she could face him. "I'm sorry I woke you." She murmured, wiping at her eyes.

"You had a dream," he said, matter-of-factly. "Happens to everybody."

She nodded slowly. "Yes, sir...I suppose..."

"We're in bed together," Jack said with a wry smile. "Think you can call me Jack more than once?"

She managed a faint smile. "Yes...Jack..."

"Good." He said, nodding. "Now, do you want to tell me about your dream?"

She shook her head. "Not really."

"It was about your mom, wasn't it?"

"How did you...?"

"You started talking in your sleep about ten minutes ago." He admitted. "Took me that long to roll over and see if you were okay."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." He said as he softly wiped away a few errant tears. "You're sure you're okay?"

"The dream...I've had it for years, but this time...it changed."

"How?"

"Instead of visiting my mother's grave at the end, I..." She inhaled. "I visit yours."

"Oh."

She looked down at her expanded belly, and gently smoothed her shirt over it.

"Hey, I'm okay."

"I know..." She murmured.

"I'm a little bummed out, but I'm gonna be okay. I'm alive after all."

She nodded vigorously as she tried to hide the tears which had begun to fall again.

"Hey..." He whispered, looking over at her.

She tried to manage a smile as she looked over at him, but it didn't reach her eyes, and she knew instantly that he'd seen right through it.

"C'mere." He murmured, scooting into a position where he could wrap his arm around her shoulders and she could rest the back of her head on his shoulder.

_ "You know there are things about this place that I like." She whispered as she rested her cheek on his shoulder._

_"Really?" He asked, surprised._

_She offered him a small smile, and understanding dawned._

_"Would it mean anything if I told you I remember something else?" He asked after a moment._

_"What?"_

_"Feelings."_

_"Feelings?"_

_"I remember feeling feelings."_

_She swallowed, nervously. "For me?"_

_"No, for Tor." He said, sarcastically._

_She laughed softly as she hid her face in his chest for a moment to stifle the sound._

_"I don't remember much." He said, more soberly. "But I do remember that."_

_"So…" She said, sobering with him._

_"So…I'm just saying."_

_She swallowed. "Well then," she murmured slowly. "I feel better."  
_  
"Do you regret it," she asked softly.

"Regret what?"

"That...night..."

"Never." He said, looking down at her.

She looked back up at him, seeing the earnestness in his eyes. Even here in the dark.

"Well then," she said, repeating the words from their captivity. "I feel better..."

He squeezed her shoulders gently as they stared at the ceiling silently.

-

Several hours later, after having fallen asleep in Jack's arms somewhere after their midnight heart-to-heart, Sam awoke to her protesting bladder. She groaned, and tried to gently extract herself from Jack's protective embrace without waking him.

She seemed somewhat successful, and gently padded down the hall to the bathroom.

"Second-in-command, hm?"

Sam jumped as she looked over to see Meg looking down the hallway.

"Um..." Sam stammered, thinking quickly. "Well, we're not in the same chain of command anymore. Haven't been since I got pregnant, and he's been medically discharged, so..."

She raised an eyebrow.

Sam managed a nervous smile as she ducked into the bathroom, blushing furiously.

-

"I think you're wrong," she said, walking into the bedroom where she found Jack sitting up.

"Not unusual," he shrugged. "What about?"

"Your mom liking me."

His brow furrowed. "What makes you say that?"

"I went to the bathroom, and she caught me just outside. She doesn't buy us being in the same chain of command."

"Ma." He groaned.

"I mean, it's okay. I'm used to people not liking me..."

"What'd you say?"

"I told her that we haven't actually been in the same chain of command since I got pregnant, and that with your medical discharge..."

"We're never going to be in the same chain of command again."

She nodded.

"Now, we just have to explain to her that you're not married and not seeing anyone..."

"Piece of cake," she joked, weakly.


	8. Christmas Eve

"You must be Murray," Meg said, answering the door, when Teal'c arrived during breakfast.

He raised an eyebrow, looking over to where Sam and Jack sat at the kitchen table. He looked back at the woman, who stood before him. "Indeed."

"Come on in," Jack said, wheeling over to the door. "Uh...Murray, this is my mom. Margaret O'Neill. Mom, this is my friend and teammate, Murray."

"It is an honor to meet O'Neill's mother." He said with a sober nod.

"I have pancakes and bacon in the kitchen if you haven't had breakfast yet."

"Thank you." He said, slipping past her as she closed the door.

Sam quickly served a stack of pancakes onto a plate which she offered to him. He nodded his thanks as Jack and Meg returned to the table. The German Shepherd that Meg had brought with her looked up from where he lay on the kitchen floor. He barked at the stranger.

"Easy there, Sparky." Jack murmured, looking over at the dog.

Sam chuckled softly at the name though it won a glare from his mother."His name is Tennessee Williams..."'

"Yes." Jack said, rolling his eyes. "Your favorite playwright..."

"Eat your breakfast," Meg said, shaking her head.

Sam, now finished with her own breakfast, walked over to the sink with her plate and glass. She placed both in the sink before reaching for the sponge.

"Have a seat, dear." Meg said, taking the sponge from her. "I'll do that."

"I..." Sam began.

Meg's eyes flickered down to Sam's swollen belly. "Please...rest."

Sam managed a grateful smile as she realized that maybe Jack was right. Maybe his mother did like her. At least a little bit. "All right. But count me in to help with dinner."

Meg nodded. "You got it."

"Carter..." Jack murmured in protest of her offer.

"Sir?"

"You can't cook."

"But I can mince, dice, chop, stir..."

"And so can you." Meg said, looking over at her son.

"D'oh." He said, shaking his head.

Sam chuckled as she looked over at him.

"Now, the plan is to start the festivities around four. Until then, we clean up the kitchen, talk, get to know each other..."

"Cook." Jack finished, looking up at his mother.

"Yes, Jonathan. Cook." She said, shaking her head affectionately.

"Where do you want us?" Sam asked, looking over at Jack's mother.

The spirited woman smiled, and Sam knew for sure that Jack had been correct in assuming that his mother liked her. Especially now that she'd begun to understand her a little bit better.

"I saw a small tree...maybe you can decorate it?"

Sam grinned. "I'd love to."

-

"So...what was the Colonel like as a kid?" Sam asked as she peeled potatoes with Meg O'Neill.

"First of all, he wasn't a Colonel." Meg chuckled.

Sam smiled appreciatively.

"He was like any other boy, I suppose." She said, casting her mind back through the years. "He always wanted to be in the Air Force."

"Really?"

Meg nodded slowly. "His father died in Korea when he was five years old. He was a Captain in the Air Force."

"I'm sorry to hear that," she murmured, apologetically.

"It was a long time ago." Meg said, returning to her work.

"And the Colonel wanted vindication for his father..."

"He idolized his father." Meg nodded. "He would follow Matthew around doing everything he did. And then, Matthew would pick him up, put him on his shoulder and march around the house."

Sam smiled softly at the tender memory.

Meg sobered as she paused in her work for a moment. "Charlie..."

Sam's head snapped up at the mention of Jack's dead son.

"Charlie...would do the same. He was Jonathan in miniature. And Jonathan was his father in miniature." Meg inhaled softly. "It was like having Matthew back for a moment."

Sam swallowed as silence returned and the older woman picked up another potato for her peeling. Several moments later, she looked over as Sam finished a potato. "I think we have enough potatoes now, Samantha. Why don't you go check on Jonathan, and keep him company while I get everything mashed up?"

"I can do that if you'd rather..." She began, recognizing that mother and son hadn't had much time to reminisce about old times.

Meg shook her head as she patted Sam's hand with a soft, but weathered, hand. "I'm sure he'd rather see you."

Sam tensed before she nodded.

She walked down the hallway to Jack's bedroom where he'd been taking a small break from his wheelchair while he took a nap due to the medications that Janet had prescribed for his few residual injuries. His eyes were still closed as she walked into the room, and she slowly walked over in order to sit on the bed beside him and watch him for a moment. With a gentle finger, she felt for his pulse on his wrist. It reassured her greatly to feel the strong and steady flow of blood pulse through.

"I'm still alive, Carter." He murmured, opening his eyes.

"Sir." She said, looking over in surprise. "I thought you were asleep."

"Apparently, you thought I was more than that," he teased with a lopsided grin.

"Well, it doesn't hurt to check sometimes," she said, managing a small smile of her own.

"Something on your mind?"

She swallowed. "Your mom..."

"She say something mean again?"

She shook her head. "No. Nothing like that. I think I finally kinda figured her out..."

"Impressive, Carter. It took you a day to do what I've been trying to do for my entire life."

"I think she's lonely, sir," she said, ignoring his sarcasm.

"Lonely..."

"Without your dad and you...especially after this accident..." She swallowed. "I know you're not sure that you need or want her here, but it is Christmas Eve, and she has been a great help. Maybe...it wouldn't be such a bad thing to have her stay. At least until you get back on your feet."

He raised an eyebrow, and she winced at her choice of words. "Sorry, sir. I just meant..."'

"I know what you meant." He interrupted. "And...I think you're right. Taking care of me is going to get more and more impossible for Daniel and Teal'c with their mission rotations and more difficult for you."

"And while you're not going to need our help forever, you are going to need some help getting this place accessible or moving to somewhere that is easier.."

"I'm not moving."

"Then I'll call some contractors and see what the estimates are for getting this house more wheelchair friendly."

"Now?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "I just got out of the hospital. We don't know how permanent or..."

"Exactly." She said, soberly. "We don't know how long this is going to last, and if you don't want to move we should look into making the necessary modifications..."

"Carter, I don't want to talk about this right now."

"Sir, the sooner you accept that you may never walk again, the sooner we can get you as independent as you could..."

"I said I don't want to talk about it!" He cried, angrily.

She tensed, pulling away. "Okay. I'm...I'm sorry."

"Look...I need some..."

"Time. I got it." She said, tersely. She stood. "Call Teal'c if you need help getting into your chair. I think I'm gonna go for a walk."

He sighed softly as she left. He was screwing things up again.

-

Sam walked out of the bedroom and down the corridor. She was somewhat grateful to find that Meg's attention had been wholly consumed by her cooking. She pulled her coat off of the coat rack, and slipped out the door.

She reached for her cell phone, in the pocket of her jacket, and dialed her brother's number.

"Hello, Carter residence," her eight-year-old niece greeted as she answered the telephone.

"Hi, Katie." She greeted softly.

"Aunt Sam! How are you? I heard you're having a baby! That's exciting! Is it a boy or a girl?"

Sam chuckled softly. "I'm fine, and I don't know whether or not it's a boy or a girl, but yes, I am having a baby."

There was a squeal from the young woman, and Sam pulled the phone from her ear for a moment. "Can I talk to Grandpa for a few minutes?"

"Sure."

"Thank you."

"Sam?" Her father greeted a few minutes later.

"Hi, Dad." She said with a faint smile though she felt her hands begin to freeze.

"What's up, kid?"

"I wanted to say...merry Christmas..."

"Merry Christmas to you too. How's your celebration?"

"It's, uh...not exactly how I'd planned..."

"How so?"

"Colonel O'Neill's mother came into town yesterday."

"Really? I didn't know that she was still alive."

"Apparently, she is."

"Nice lady?"

"Once you get to know her," she admitted.

"Ah."

"And...I think I...made Colonel O'Neill, uh...uncomfortable...or angry...or both..."

"Why?"

She swallowed. "I don't know, maybe I...stuck my nose where it didn't belong."

"Where did you stick your nose?"

"I told him that I could contact some contractors to modify his house to make it more...liveable for him. Make it so that he could be more...independent..."'

"He doesn't want to face that reality right now," Jacob inferred.

"No. It doesn't seem like he does."

"So...are you staying there for the celebrations?"

"I don't know if I should..." She said, her teeth chattering.

"Sam, where are you? Outside?"

"Yes. Just for a walk..."

"Go back inside. You're going to get sick if you don't."

"Yes, dad." She said, rolling her eyes somewhat sarcastically.

"Sam?"

"Yes, dad?"

"He's an idiot if he doesn't come to his senses eventually."

She smiled at his attempt to make her feel better. "Thanks, Dad."

"You're welcome, Sammy."

-

"Samantha! It's freezing out there!" Meg cried as Sam returned to the house, shivering. "Come in, come in. Have some coffee..."

Sam was quiet as the older woman ushered her into the kitchen and quickly poured her a cup of the warm liquid. "What were you thinking going out there? It's colder than Minnesota out there!"

"N-needed to c-clear my head," she managed, still shaking.

"Murray, start a fire in the fireplace. Samantha, go and sit on the couch in the living room. I'll get you a blanket."

"Meg, I'm fine," she tried to protest as she warmed quickly.

"Hurry, hurry..." Meg said, gently shooing Sam to the living room.

Sam's eyes teared up as she realized that this was the mothering she'd missed for twenty years since her mother had died.

"Major Carter, are you unwell?" Teal'c asked, stealing a quick look at her as he began the fire.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I'm...I'm fine."

"You do not seem fine."

"I just...miss my mom..." She admitted. "She, uh, died when I was fifteen. Colonel O'Neill's mother is...reminding me of everything I've buried so deeply down that I've missed since she's been gone."

Jack wheeled down the ramp with a few heavy blankets on his lap.

Sam looked away almost instantly, and he sighed as he offered her one of the blankets. "Ma said you went outside after we talked."'

"I told you I was going for a walk..."

"Yeah, but I thought that was a...euphamism. Some code for "fine, I'll leave you alone"."

She clenched her jaw. "I don't do things like that..."

Jack's eyes flickered to Teal'c who'd just gotten the fire started.

He nodded as he finished putting the grate back in front. He slipped away, and Sam sighed.

"Look, I...I shouldn't have gotten angry like that. It wasn't exactly...your fault..."

She swallowed.

"I should have realized you were just trying to help."

She tried to blink away the tears that were welling up in her eyes.

"This is hard for me, but...I guess I don't even think about how hard it is for you...to see me like this."

She closed her eyes and brushed the single tear which had slipped past her defenses from her cheek.

"I'm sorry."

She sniffed before she looked back at him. "I shouldn't have pushed...it wasn't my place. But you're right. It kills me to see the agony in your eyes when you can't reach a shelf or clean a dish." She bit her lip. "I know you hate the idea of being stuck here indefinitely, but as far as we know, there's something lodged in your spinal cord. It could be there for a few more weeks or it could be there until you die."

She closed her eyes as she tried to inhale. "But like I said about needing help, you were just injured a few weeks ago. We shouldn't expect you to be as independent as you can be right now, and we can't expect you to have a handle on this mentally or emotionally right now. I guess I just need to exercise some patience."

"Call the contractor after Christmas, Carter." He said after a moment.

"Sir?"

"Can't hurt to get information, right?"

"Right."

"So, call the contractor. Get him to come out and look at the place. If it's worth it, I'll think about it."

"Yes, sir." She said, nodding.

"Now...I think it's about time for a pre-dinner snack. Wanna join me as I thoroughly annoy my mother?"

She smiled softly before she shook her head. "Nah. I'm...a little tired. I think I'll just sit back and close my eyes for a few moments."

"Put your feet up if you want. On the couch or on the coffee table. Doesn't matter to me." He said with a shrug.

"I'm fine, sir." She said, shaking her head as she leaned the back of her head against the back of the couch. "Just...want some...sleep..." She murmured as she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

He smiled softly as he helped to cover her with the blankets and then wheeled into the kitchen.


	9. Resolutions

"Major....CARTER!"

She jumped as she heard her name called. "Sir..." She choked as her eyes flew open.

"It's time for Christmas dinner." He said, motioning to the kitchen.

"Oh." She said, blinking in surprise. "I thought..."

"You were asleep for two hours. Looks like you needed the sleep."

"I promised to help..." She murmured, sitting up and pulling the blanket from her body. She rolled it onto the couch beside her.

"Yeah, and my mom said to let you sleep. You okay?"

"Fine." She said, pulling herself up. She swayed for a moment, and Jack looked up at her. "Easy there, Carter..."

"I'm fine." She said, blinking for a moment. "Just get a little dizzy sometimes from the extra blood flow of the pregnancy."

"Yeah. That's what I figured. Still...take it easy."

"Yes, sir." She said with a small smile.

He seemed pensive for a moment, and she noticed his look. "What?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sam..."

She raised an eyebrow. He rarely called her by her first name. "Yes?"

"I'm...retired now. Call me Jack."

"Are you sure?" She asked after a moment.

His eyes flickered down to her belly, and she felt herself resting a hand on it somewhat protectively as he nodded. "Yeah."

"Okay." She said, inhaling. "Jack."

"What are you two doing in there?" Meg called, looking through the cutout in the wall to where they were in the living room. "I called for dinner ten minutes ago!"

"We're coming," Sam said, looking up.

"You better. It's getting cold!"

Sam smiled as she looked back down at Jack. "After you..."

He maneuvered his chair up the ramp, and she followed closely.

Roast beef was flanked on either side by mashed potatoes and a green bean casserole. "This smells delicious, Meg," Sam said, honestly.

"Thank you." The older woman blushed. "And there's cake...for dessert."

Sam smiled at Jack who grinned.

A knock on the door interrupted their festivities, and Sam stood. "I'm closest. I'll get it."

She walked to the door, and peeked through the peephole. "It's Daniel!" She cried, excitedly as she threw open the door. "Daniel!"

"Hey, Sam." He said with a tired smile.

"Danny!" Jack cried. "How ya doin'?"

"Fine. Just got in."

"Yeah. We weren't sure you'd make it in time for Christmas dinner." Sam said, closing the door as Daniel shook snow from his coat.

"Truth be told, neither was I." He said as Sam took his coat from him.

"Murray, the fire died down. Perhaps after dinner you could light another?" Meg asked, looking at Teal'c.

He nodded. "Indeed, Mrs. O'Neill."

"Please. It's Meg."

"Good luck trying to break him of that habit." Daniel said somewhat sarcastically.

"Daniel, this is Colonel O'Neill's mother." Sam introduced. "Meg, this is Daniel Jackson."

"Nice to meet you." Daniel said, extending his hand to the woman, who took it. "And you, Mr. Jackson."

"Actually it's...Doctor..." Daniel murmured.

Sam smiled as she patted his shoulder. "Come in. Sit down. There's a ton of food."

"Yeah, but...Murray's going to eat it all." Daniel said with a small smile.

"I will not, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c said, raising his eyebrow in protest.

"Ahem," Jack's mother interrupted.

They all looked at the matriarch, and she smiled softly. "If you don't mind, I think we should say grace, and then begin our meal. At that time, I would like to hear about your Christmas traditions."

Sam nodded with a small and supportive smile as Daniel nodded hesitantly.

"Ma, not everyone here has celebrated Christmas all of their lives...probably don't even have traditions..."

"Yeah, but we can share our memories of the ones we have had."

"Indeed," Teal'c said, agreeing with his archaeologist friend.

Meg O'Neill reached for, and grasped Sam's hand with own, and Sam managed a small smile as she accepted Teal'c's hand. Within a matter of moments, they'd grasped one another's hands around the table, and each bowed their head.

"Dear Lord, we thank you for this bounty before us. We thank you for our health, our strength, and our safety." Meg began.

Sam stole a look to Jack, whose head was bowed like everyone else's. It was a miracle he was still in front of them. That he was there at all.

"We thank you for friends and family, who are so good to us. The old whom we've known all our lives, and the new whom we hope to know for a lifetime more."

Sam looked over at Meg who squeezed her hand gently before continuing. "In the end, we thank you for Christmas, and the opportunity we have to share it with one another this year. Despite the challenges placed in our paths, we've been brought together to lift one another up and to help each other out. Bless us with your mercy, Father. Amen."

"Amen." Sam breathed with the others.

"Jonathan?" She asked, looking at Jack. "Would you like to carve the roast?"

Jack shook his head. "Nah. Let Murray do it."

"Thank you, O'Neill." Teal'c said, recognizing the honor it was to carve the roast.

"Samantha, you must have some interesting Christmas memories." Meg said, turning to the other woman.

Sam smiled. "Actually, I do." She admitted.

"By all means, Carter..." Jack said with a twinkle in his eye.

She grinned. "When I was a kid, my mom would start baking at Christmas time. December 1st would come, and suddenly, we'd smell cookies and bread and cake...She'd let my brother, Mark, and me, each have a cookie or two, but the rest, she put in tins or wrapped up in foil." She laughed softly. "Every week, the stack of tins would grow higher, and the loaves of bread would keep multiplying...and I remember when I was...I don't know, eight or nine, I remember sneaking into the kitchen to find my brother doing exactly what I'd been planning on doing..."

"Stealing a cookie from the tins." Jack finished.

She laughed. "Yeah." She paused as she remembered her mother's face for a moment. "My mom was so angry when she caught us. She scolded us and sent us to bed." Sam bit her lip. "But a few hours later...after she thought we'd both gone to sleep, she snuck into our bedrooms and left a cookie on our nightstands."

Sam sat back, absently stroking her belly as her memory became tinged with the pain of losing her mother only a few years later.

"What were they for?"

"Hm?" She asked, pulling herself from her reverie.

"The cookies..." Jack reiterated. "What were they for?"

"Oh. Teachers, coworkers...neighbors..." She said, shaking her head. "Anyone who passed our way that Christmas season, I suppose."

She thought for a moment. "I think she even left some for the mail man..."

"My parents...before they died..." Daniel began. "Got me a...a red fire engine for Christmas. I thought it was so cool. I played with it over and over and over and over again. Up and down the hallway. In the kitchen, on the linoleum, in the living room on the carpet. It didn't matter...I thought that fire engine was...so cool." He said, shaking his head. He bit the inside of his cheek. "It was crushed in the same rubble that killed my parents. It never..." He inhaled, emotionally. "It never drove straight again. The tire was bent, and the metal was twisted." He sighed. "Like how I felt after my parents died. Broken. Misshapen."

Sam offered him a sympathetic smile as Teal'c began. "There was a festival...for the first snowfall. We would gather together and the warriors would walk solemnly down the streets of the village. They had their heads held high and their weapons raised in triumph. My father did march proudly in many such parades until his death."

Sam patted his hand, gently.

They slipped into silence for a few moments as they each ate their food.

"We would decorate the tree on Christmas Eve." Jack began, picking at his food. "Drink egg nog and sing carols...then we'd read "'Twas the Night Before Christmas"." He inhaled. "I'd put Charlie to bed, adn Sara would pull out the Santa suit that we hid under our bed, and I'd change so that if Charlie woke up to see Santa..."

"He wouldn't be disappointed," Sam finished.

He nodded, still not looking up.

The baby within Sam kicked softly, and she placed a hand on her stomach at the reminder of the child she carried within her. She felt tears prick her eyes at the thought of losing this child like Jack had lost Charlie. She may not have expected to have a child at this stage of her life, but it would break her heart to lose it.

"Christmas may be a time when one feels loss more poignantly than at other times in the year," Meg murmured, softly. "But perhaps," she said, touching Sam's stomach gently. "It is also a time to look forward with hope. A new year is coming. And with it, new challenges and new opportunities."

Sam exchanged a small smile with Jack's mother.

"Now," she said, pulling away and looking back at the rest of the group. "What do you all want for Christmas?"

-

The snow which had fallen over the course of the evening had begun piling up late into the night. By midnight, all of the cars had been snowed in, and Jack had insisted that Daniel, Teal'c, and Sam stay overnight for their own safety. Now, Sam lay next to Jack in his bed after Teal'c and Daniel had helped him into bed. They were silent as they stared up at the ceiling. Each on opposite sides of the bed.

"Jack?" She whispered softly.

"Hm?"

"This was nice." She said, looking over. "Christmas dinner...with your mom, Daniel, and Teal'c. It was nice."

"Yeah."

She swallowed. "I...I think your mom needs to know..."

"Know what?"

"That this baby is yours and mine. I mean, the look in her eyes when she touched my stomach..."

"Can't tell her without divulging the nature of the assignment..."

"Of course we can," she said, looking over at him. "She obviously doesn't care whether or not we've...defied regulations..."

"I'm not doing that to you."

"Jack, she already likes me. And quite frankly, it's about time that someone was actually excited to see this kid." She protested before she sighed. "I know I haven't been..."

"You don't want kids?"

"Sure. Who doesn't?" She asked after a moment. "And now that this baby's on the way, I couldn't imagine not having one, but...this was never in the cards. Not now. Not like this."

"Like what then?"

"I don't know." She sighed. "I guess I always pictured...a white picket fence, an 8-to-5 job..."

"I can add the fence, and you have an 8-to-5 job."

"It's...it's not the same. It wasn't...planned."

"Some of the best things in life aren't planned."

"Not for me, sir." She whispered.

"You planned to go through the Stargate?"

"Once I knew what it was..."

"You planned to have feelings for me?"

"Whether or not that's a good thing is debateable."

"You planned to have this baby?"

"No."

"Your life is one big lesson in spontaneity." He reasoned. "Now...you can learn the lesson and go with the flow, or you can fight it until you lose everything."

She looked over at him as she pursed her lips thoughtfully. "You're no happier with spontaneity than I am." She said after a moment.

"Admitted." He said, softly, as he reached over and took her hand. "But...maybe this is a lesson that we have to learn together."

"I can't make any promises." She whispered. "Not yet. It wouldn't be fair to you..."

"Be the mother of my child. Anything else...if there is anything else...can come later..."

She nodded slowly. "You're on."


	10. Epilogue: Birthday

**Epilogue:**

Four months later:

The sound of drills and construction-related commotion woke Sam with a pounding headache. She opened her eyes only to close them almost instantly at the blinding sunlight which streamed in through the window above her. "Gah..." She groaned, placing her hands over her eyes as she rocked as close as she could to the edge of the pillow in an effort to shield her eyes from the sunlight.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty." Jack said, cheerily, as he wheeled into the bedroom with a tray of breakfast food on his lap.

"Go away." She murmured, waving him away as she tried to bury her face in the pillow.

"I brought breakfast." He said, trying to bribe her out of bed.

"Not hungry."

She could mentally see his eyebrows raise. Who was she kidding? She was always hungry. Insatiable, actually, since she ate for the fraternal twins she carried within her. Twins they'd found out about only a few weeks after Christmas at her monthly check-up.

"I just want sleep." She moaned as she struggled to sit herself up. "But that damn construction crew is making it impossible."

"Sorry," he apologized with a sheepish grin. "But..."

"I know, I know." She sighed. "It was my idea."

"Still, you could go to your place." He admitted. "I'm fine here. Ma's still here, and I can get myself out of bed and into the chair if I need to now."

She didn't say anything, just stood with a grimace as she pushed past him on her way to the bathroom.

He knew almost better than she, that she stayed with him for the emotional support. He'd started seeing a therapist a few days after Christmas about his paralysis and had learned to be a better anchor for her. Then, they'd learned about the twins. A boy and a girl, if Janet Fraiser was right. And she usually was.

Sam had been a wreck, thinking about how to care for not just one baby, but two.

To be honest, the twins were still a touchy subject for her.

He wheeled down the hallway. "Sam..."

He heard the toilet flush and the sound of running water for a few moments before it stopped and she opened the door again. "You two are officially grounded for the first month of your lives." She said, looking down at her stomach. "Kicking my bladder like that...it's unforgiveable..."

A small smile played on Jack's features before she looked up. "What?"

"They're not going to be able to do much for the first month of their lives...grounding is a little...harsh..."

She sighed as she reached down and retrieved the plate from the tray on his legs. "I'm famished."

He bit down a sarcastic comment as he followed her back down the corridor to one of the only two undisturbed rooms in the house. She passed by the mirror on his dresser and looked at her profile in the mirror with a small sigh.

"You'll get your girlish figure back," he said, soberly.

She turned a skeptical eye to him as she crunched on a piece of bacon and lowered herself cautiously to sit on the edge of the bed. "Uh-huh..."

He wheeled closer to her, giving him enough space to touch a tender hand to her knee. "Hey, just a few more weeks, right? Then, the kids will be out of you. Not dancing on your bladder anymore."

She managed a small smile, though Jack could see that she was on the verge of tears.

"What's wrong?"

"I can hardly stand up anymore I'm so enormous. I've been on maternity stand down for the last two weeks, and I'm going more than a little bit crazy just sitting around, doing nothing, and waiting for these babies to make their appearance...which," she gritted her teeth, "As your mother frequently points out...will be on THEIR time table."

"I'm sure they're feeling just as squished as you," he said with a small smile. "Won't be too long now..."

She sighed. "Well, if that, in and of itself, weren't so damn terrifying, I might actually manage to be happy about that."

"What's so terrifying?" He asked, looking over at her.

"The prospect of having kids in general. I mean, what do I do when they start asking questions about what I do..."

"You're a scientist. You do experiments. At first, that's all they have to know." He said, pragmatically.

"And what if I end up going back on SG-1? What then? I mean, do I drop them off at daycare, traipse around the galaxy and come home in time for dinner?"

"You leave them with me, and I take good care of them until you get back."

She opened her mouth to speak before she closed it again.

"What?" He prodded, gently.

"What happens when...you can't chase them anymore? When you can't catch them, and they're able to figure out that there are some things they can do, some places they can go..."

"We'll deal with it." He said, soberly. "I'm not the only one who has had to consider how this disability, this paralysis, is going to affect parenting children."

She nodded, slowly.

"Come on. Your appointment is in an hour, and I want to take that new car for a spin..."

She chuckled softly. "Who knew you'd get so excited about driving..."

"Are you kidding?" He asked, eyes wide. "I can get into it by myself! I can drive! It's AMAZING!"

She smiled. "Good. That's the point."

He patted her knee, affectionately. "Get dressed, and maybe we'll get to go out to eat. And stay as far away from these construction workers as we can."

She laughed as she nodded. "Sounds like the best idea you've had all day."

-

She walked unevenly beside Jack as he rolled over to the car. The twins had kicked her pelvis out of alignment weeks ago, making any walking a slow, awkward and somewhat painful process as she tried to balance the extra frontal weight of her protruding belly and yet move forward at the same time.

"What's your mom doing today?" Sam asked as she struggled to get situated in the front seat of the van.

"Said she was going to go shopping with "Murray"."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Shopping with..."

"I tried to tell her that might not be a good idea, but she insisted." He said, using the wheelchair lift to raise him high enough to get into the backseat. He quickly stored the lift before pressing a button to close the door. Then, he wheeled into the driver's seat from the backseat. "But she's sworn us off going to the mall. At least without a phone call."

"What?" She asked, looking over at him, confused.

"I know...it's weird." He said with a shrug. "And I don't get it anymore than you do."

-

"How are you feeling, Sam?" Dr. Janet Fraiser asked as she entered the exam room.

"Like if I get any bigger, I'll explode." She said with a sardonic smile.

"Well, it won't be too much longer," she said, sympathetically.

Sam managed a tired smile as Janet began the examination, taking her blood pressure and vitals. "I saw Colonel O'Neill outside. He seemed to be adjusting to his paralysis fairly well."

Sam nodded. "He's almost completely independent. His mother's probably going to leave in the next month or two. Though I've heard that she might get an apartment here in Colorado Springs so that she can still be close to him."

"The Colonel must be happy about that," Janet said with a small chuckle.

Sam managed an appreciative laugh. "No, but he's figured if she starts mothering him too much, he'll send her my way."

"Nice way to get some help with the twins..." Janet said, soberly.

Sam inhaled.

"And Cassie's willing to babysit anytime you need it."

"I don't think I'll need an actual babysitter for a little while..."

"She can listen for the twins if you need to take a nap or something every so often."

"And...when they actually get here, I'll be happy to take her up on the offer," Sam said, wryly.

Janet's brow furrowed as she continued her examination. "Sam?"

"Hm?"

"Have you been having discomfort...anything out of the ordinary?"

"Out of the ordinary discomfort?" Sam asked, skeptically.

Janet managed a worried smile. "Contractions...anything like that?"

Sam shook her head. "No..."

"Hm. That's peculiar."

"Why?" Sam asked, looking at her friend, feeling somewhat anxious.

"You're dilated to a four. And given the readings I just took...I think...you might be in early stages of labor."

Sam's brows raised somewhat worriedly.

-

Jack sat outside the exam room, reading a small booklet on dealing with paralysis. Sam had gotten it for him, and he figured that in an effort to show his gratitude for her support, he should at least...try to read it.

Janet walked out of the room, catching one of the nurses. "I need this patient moved to the labor and delivery."

"Yes, doctor."

Jack's ears perked up at the sound of "labor and delivery". "Janet..."

"Sam's in labor." She said, looking over at the Colonel.

His eyes widened. "Really?"

She nodded. "Do you think you can still get through to the SGC? She was asking that someone get a message through to her father."

"I'll call Hammond." He said, nodding.

She turned to leave, and he looked up. "Doc?"

She turned back. "Yes, sir?"

"Is she...okay?" He asked, worriedly.

"She's going to be fine, Colonel." She said, softly.

He nodded, slowly.

"Once you've called General Hammond, and once we've gotten her settled, she might like to see you." Janet sighed softly. "I'm trying to reassure her, but quite frankly, she is understandably anxious about the whole thing."

He nodded. "Right."

"And you've always had a calming effect on any of the members of your team."

"Not my team anymore, Doc." He said, soberly. "But I'll give it a try."

-

She was looking out the window, dressed in a carefully tied hospital gown as he wheeled in.

"Hey," he murmured.

She turned back to look at him, both hands resting gently on her belly as she offered him a faint smile. "Hi, Jack."

"What was that I said about it all being over soon?" He asked with a small smile.

She managed a nervous smile. "Right..."

"You're gonna be fine, Sam." He assured, wheeling closer to her.

She looked back out the window. "I hope so..."

"You don't think you can?" He prodded. "Or you're not sure you want to?"

She inhaled as she offered him an appreciative smile. "A little of both, I suppose."

"But?"

"But maybe it's not as bad as I think..." She said as if offering a counterargument to a solution she'd proposed in saving the world. "Apparently I've been having contractions for a few hours now, and I can't feel a thing."

"Pretty sure that's going to change." He said with a shrug.

"Yeah..." She said, inhaling.

"Carter, you've been shot, you've had broken bones, you've been tortured with a goa'uld hand device and a goa'uld pain stick. I don't think this is going to kill you."

She managed a grateful smile as she looked down at her belly before she turned toward him, still not looking him in the eye. "Then I guess...I'm gonna be a mom."

"Yep." Jack said, nodding. "Now, you should probably get back into bed before Fraiser blames me."

She chuckled softly as she walked slowly back to the bed and got herself situated in the bed. "Were you able to get a message through to my dad?"

"Hammond said he'd try." He said, nodding.

"Mark...I should call Mark..."

"Danny and T are on their way. We can have them call."

"Wasn't Teal'c with your mom?"

"Yeah." He said, nodding. "But I can ask her to go and watch the construction guys if you want.."

"It might be a good idea." She admitted somewhat nervously. "I mean, we never actually told her..."

"It's whatever you're comfortable with. I mean, we could all hang out in the lobby..."

"I...I don't really want to be alone." She sighed with a small grimace as she pressed a hand to her stomach.

"You okay?"

She inhaled slowly before nodding as she exhaled equally slowly. "Yeah..."

"Finally felt that one?"

She nodded. "Yeah." She exhaled noisily.

"Bad?"

"Not...bad...exactly, just worse than the others."

"Anything I can do to help?"

"Not likely." She said with a small shrug.

"Want me to get the Doc?"

She shook her head. "No. She'll be in here soon enough, and quite frankly, I can handle this right now." She turned a small chuckle to him. "After all, I have been tortured and all sorts of other horrible things..."

She looked far from relieved, and he sighed, wishing there was something that he could do.

"Look, you don't have to stay here if you don't want to. I'm sure this is...no picnic for you either."

"Hey, those kids are half-mine. I'm only leaving if you want me to leave."

She offered a small, grateful smile. "Thanks."

"Hey...it's the least I can do. Let you hold my hand and all that jazz..."

She chuckled softly as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "I think I'll catch up on that sleep I wanted this morning."

He smiled somewhat nervously as her breathing deepened slowly. Whether he was ready or not, he was going to be a dad again.

-

_Several hours later:  
_  
Daniel paced around the waiting room, nervously. "You'd think we'd have heard something by now."

"Major Carter is quite strong." Teal'c said, soberly. "She is fine."

"Women have babies everyday, Daniel." Meg said with a small smile. "She'll be fine."

"Where's Jack? I thought he would be here..." Daniel said, his brow furrowed.

Teal'c raised his eyebrow.

-

"AGH!" Sam cried, breathing heavily as sweat beaded her forehead.

"Keep pushing, Sam..." Janet murmured, encouragingly.

She shook with the effort, and Jack held her hand as tightly as he could to keep from letting it slip from his with the sweat that covered their hands.

"Good job, Sam. Take a minute, and then, give us another push like that one."

She inhaled as deeply as she could as she rested the back of her head against the pillow.

"Hey," Jack whispered, softly. "Good job."

She looked over at him, trying to manage a small smile.

He squeezed her hand supportively as Janet looked back at Sam. "Okay...on the count of three, I want you to push again. One, two, three."

She pulled herself up and began to push again.

-

"Daniel Jackson," Daniel greeted as his phone rang.

"Dr. Jackson, it's General Hammond."

"General!"

"How's Major Carter?"

"Uh...we don't know. We assume someone will tell us if something's going wrong..."

"She's strong, son. I'm sure she's fine." The General assured.

"Yes, sir, I'm sure she is." He agreed. "Now...what can we do for you?"

"I just got word back from the Tok'ra. Apparently, Jacob is on a mission of gravest importance, and cannot be interrupted at this time."

"But, General..."

"I know." He interrupted. "But for now, I've done all I can."

"Thank you. I'll be sure to tell Sam when I get the chance."

He hung up the phone with a sigh.

"Her dad can't come. At least...not right now."

"He can't?" Meg asked, surprised.

"No, he...can't be reached by phone, apparently."

-

"Sam, I can see the baby's head." Janet said with a smile. "Just one more push, and you'll have one of the twins."

Sam nodded, steeling herself for another push. She gritted her teeth as she pushed, and Jack smiled softly. "Sam...we're almost there..." He said, in wonder.

She released a guttural yell as a smaller cry reached their ears.

"That's it, Sam." Janet cried, somewhat breathlessly as she helped to pull the child from Sam's womb. "You're a mom."

Sam inhaled softly as Janet held the child up for her to see. "It's a girl."

Tears were slipping down her cheeks as she took in the sight of her baby girl.

"Doctor..." One of the nurses murmured.

She wrapped the baby up and offered the baby to Jack. "Hold her for a moment, Colonel."

He looked somewhat overwhelmed at the thought of holding his daughter for the first time. "Support her head." The doctor reminded, gently.

He nodded earnestly as Sam pushed again. A few moments later, another squeal could be heard from the second newborn.

"And...it's a boy." Janet smiled.

Sam was crying as Janet offered her son for her to hold. "Well done, Sam." She said with a small smile as she patted her friend's shoulder.

"Oh, he's so beautiful," she murmured.

"I think the right term is handsome," Jack cut in. "She...she's gorgeous."

"Just wait until we get them all cleaned up." Janet chuckled. "Do you mind?"

"No." Sam said, shaking her head as she returned the baby to the doctor. A nurse retrieved the baby girl from Jack's arms.

"Nice job, Carter."

She managed a tired smile. "Thank you, sir."

-

Daniel knocked softly on the door as he opened it. "Hey," he whispered, flowers and balloons in his hands.

Sam looked up with a serene smile from where she held her daughter in her arms. "Hi, Daniel."

"Jack said she was beautiful, but he didn't say how beautiful," he murmured as he bent over her and looked at the baby.

"Do you want to hold her?" Sam asked, looking over at him.

"Sure."

She gently passed the baby to him. "Watch her head," she said, softly.

"What's her name?"

"Grace Althea Carter," Sam said with a small smile. "After my mother and grandmother."

"Nice names."

She smiled softly as she looked over to where Meg O'Neill, unknowingly, held her grandson. "And that little heartbreaker over there...is Jacob Andrew Carter."

"He looks so much like..." Meg began.

Sam tensed slightly as she looked over. Jack had mentioned shortly after young Jacob's birth that he'd looked much like the newborn Charlie.

"Hey, guys." Jack grinned as he wheeled in.

"What are those?" Meg asked, looking up at her son.

"Just a couple of teddy bears."

"They're enormous!"

Sam chuckled. "The kids can't play with them until they're at least ten!"

"Something to look forward to then." He winked. "Come on, they're teddy bears..."

Sam smiled softly. "Okay, fine. They're teddy bears. Eventually, they'll be able to see over the bears' heads."

He turned an affectionate smile to her.

Meg let her eyes wander from her son to Sam before she gently passed the baby to her son. "Here, Jonathan. Hold the baby. I think I'll go and check on the construction workers."

Daniel took the hint and returned Grace to her mother's arms. "I'll go see if I can find..."Murray"..."

"Daniel..."

"Besides, she likes you better than me." He winked.

Sam chuckled softly as Grace nestled into her arms. She ran a gentle finger over her daughter's cheek. "You are so beautiful," she whispered, absolutely overwhelmed by her motherhood.

Daniel smiled as he gently patted her shoulder. "I'll be back tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay." She said with a soft smile as Meg came over and gently kissed her cheek. "Your children are beautiful. And you look radiant."

Sam blushed. "You're lying, but I'm inclined to believe you."

Meg smiled. "Call me if you need any help."

"Thanks for the offer. I'll keep it in mind." She said, gratefully.

"Good." She said with a small nod before she turned to leave.

When they were gone, Jack looked over from where he sat holding baby Jacob. "We do good work, don't we?"

She managed a small smile as she nodded. "Yeah. We do."

"So...what now?"

She bit her lip. "I don't know."

"You're going to need some help with these two. Maybe you should just stay at my house..."

"The nursery was painted in my house..." She laughed softly.

"Maybe we should, uh, change that."

"Change what? Which nursery is painted?" She asked, skeptically. "I don't think that's going to work..."

"That's not really what I meant...I just thought that...maybe we should share my house."

She sobered, pausing for a moment. "What are you saying, Jack?"

"We're parents, Sam. We should...live in the same house...even if we don't actually have a relationship. That way we don't have to ferry them back and forth. That way you can go back to SG-1, and the kids won't have to go anywhere..."

"Jack..."

"You don't have to answer yet, but I...when you were napping, I asked my mom to redecorate one of the rooms. That's...that's what she was doing at the mall yesterday. She was getting all of the furniture and...stuff...for the nursery."

"What?"

"I told my mom the truth."

"Jack..."

"Who's she gonna tell?" He asked with a small smile as he looked down at his newborn son. "I mean, I'm retired. What am I afraid of?"

Sam inhaled. "You're sure about this?"

He nodded. "You can take all the time you need, but I can support you better if we're in the same house. Especially with midnight feedings and the like."

"I'd like that," she admitted.

"Then, I guess..." He said with a small sigh. "I guess it's...settled..."

She pressed her fingers to her lips as she blew a soft kiss his way.

"What was that for?"

"You're retired, aren't you?" She asked with a tender smile. "And the father of my two beautiful babies?"

He smiled softly, pretending to catch the kiss with his fingers, as he looked down at the sleeping baby in his arms. "Yep, Carter...I thought we did good work when we saved the world, but this...this is perfection."

She swallowed as she looked down at Grace, lying in her arms. "I know just what you mean..." She murmured, softly.


End file.
